IF you are a complete stranger OR if the children are present: How are the kids adjusting? Do they have medical issues? How do you feel about being a white mom raising black kids?
I'm not a terribly private person, and welcome the opportunity to talk about adoption topics and issues with friends and colleagues and family. I'm also open to talking "adoption" with new aquaintences who introduce themselves and pace into the conversation with appropriate respect and grace. If you are a complete stranger, however, the questions above are far too invasive; please remember, that the "foreign kids" who are of intrigue to you are my children -- my family. I won't ask about your depression or when your daughter started her menstrual cycle.
And in all cases, this line of talk should be reserved for when the children are not present, as they don't need to be privy to statements and inquiries that point to them as different, potentially damaged, or as some sort of "other." They are my children, and they are just shopping for a cool backpack, or trying to enjoy their favorite restaurant hamburger, or wanting to fit in at dance class.
(A bit more assertiveness in this post than is my norm due to an offensive encounter today with a stranger who was distracted by an adrenalized personal situation (which I understand), but the interaction was, nonetheless, inappropriate . . . and my not-so-subtle cues to stop were ignored.)
I'm not a terribly private person, and welcome the opportunity to talk about adoption topics and issues with friends and colleagues and family. I'm also open to talking "adoption" with new aquaintences who introduce themselves and pace into the conversation with appropriate respect and grace. If you are a complete stranger, however, the questions above are far too invasive; please remember, that the "foreign kids" who are of intrigue to you are my children -- my family. I won't ask about your depression or when your daughter started her menstrual cycle.
And in all cases, this line of talk should be reserved for when the children are not present, as they don't need to be privy to statements and inquiries that point to them as different, potentially damaged, or as some sort of "other." They are my children, and they are just shopping for a cool backpack, or trying to enjoy their favorite restaurant hamburger, or wanting to fit in at dance class.
(A bit more assertiveness in this post than is my norm due to an offensive encounter today with a stranger who was distracted by an adrenalized personal situation (which I understand), but the interaction was, nonetheless, inappropriate . . . and my not-so-subtle cues to stop were ignored.)
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