No Substitute

As we wait alongside our two birth children (Hunter and Baylor) for the day when our two adoptive children, Beatha (Bay-AH-tah) and Jameson, will join us at home and we hope for continuing updates regarding "our" Eldor children of Haiti, we find ourselves with a large and complicated family.  Six children in our hearts.  Two from my womb and presently in our house.  A pair with our love and our souls, always, in Haiti.  A sister-brother duo woven already into the Cluver daily talk, planning, and prayers, but who wait, eat, rest, and play in the far-away city of my own birth -- Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

Sadly relinquishing plans for accomodating six beds, six nooks for coats and boots, and six stools around our eating space, we have gradually transitioned our minds to loving Josianna and Wendy from afar.  Our spirits are buoyed by the dream of some future day when the Cluvers and Eldors may one day sit together, bantering in fluid Kreyol with smiles and laughter for all.  

Each new day moves us forward.

Every time I hang up the phone, Hunter, Baylor, or both will ask anxiously, "Was it about Beatha and Jameson?"  And I try to sound upbeat when I have to reply, "Not yet." 

We believe that ORR (Office of Refugee Resettlement) within HHS (Department of Health and Human Services) has been working diligently to collect and process carefully the documentation about the children, their birthfamilies, and the adoptive families (proposed sponsors).  As we await a final, coordinated approval by HHS/ORR; DHS/CIS (The Department of Homeland Security's United States Citizenship & Immigration Services); and DOS (Department of State, a.k.a. State Department), we pray that all parties involved will proceed with an absolute and singular focus on the immediate and long-term well-being of the children.

We, families, know for ourselves that the twelve children in Pittsburgh who entered the United States with legal permission prior to the installment of a humanitarian parole program had, indeed, been legal residents of BRESMA, a creche (adoption-focused) orphanage.  They landed in Florida on a January day with complete legal files indicating parental relinquishment of custody.  Our prayer is not to acquire children from Haiti, but rather, to parent Haitian children who are in need of a forever family, to work in earnest to maintain with them a strong connection to their native culture, and to communicate frequently via approved channels to the children's birth parents the progress of the adoption plan they made for their young ones. 

The kids are in a place of physical safety in the U.S.  We spent time with them in January.  Their health and education are being tended to in Pittsburgh.  U.S. government agencies are confirming records. 

Beatha and Jameson await their day to leave institutional care.

By the grace of God and the hearts of humanity, may good be done, and soon.

To see aditional images of Beatha & Jameson, click on this link http://www1.snapfish.com/bellsouth/thumbnailshare/AlbumID=2121947017/a=143018330_143018330/

(Snapfish will ask for you to establish a username and password, but it is free of charge.)   

Phase I of Delivery

"Mr. Eldor has made several trips to the city (from Jeremie), and has been to the guest house, as well," reported adoption coordinator, Diana Boni. 

Returning two days ago from her first, post-quake trip to Haiti, Diana reassured me that the brief, typed messages and sentimental items we prepared for Josianna, Wendy, and their parents have been delivered to BRESMA Director, Margarette Saint Fleur.   She will translate our notes and hand to the kids' dad (Mr. Eldor) the selected mementos when he next comes by her office (dual-purpose guest house).

I've requested that, if possible, we might receive a report back with some details about their "new" lives together.  We're operating under hopeful assumptions based upon the on-going "check-ins" that the four of them continue to be safe and healthy.  But are they able to reside in at least modestly comfortable shelter?  Are there prospects for future education?  Have they recovered, emotionally, from the trauma of the disaster and series of changes in their young lives?  We love them, and worry.

Considering that all inside of BRESMA's "Big Kids' House" was likely lost in the destruction, we sent to the kids mini-albums of photos from our August and December trips along with little teddy bears and the jewelry they chose when we shopped the Baptist Mission area just weeks before the quake.  In their parents' "care- package" I wrapped the small, "rainy-scene" painting Josianna insisted I buy.  For Josue, specifically, we prepared a wooden, pocket  prayer medallion engraved with "espwa" (hope) and "fanmi" (family).  For Tadeline, a black leather necklace with a "hope" charm -- to match my own.

To assure as best we can that our most important thoughts are communicated and not lost in translation (language, culture, age of the children), we kept our written sentiments plainly worded and brief:

Message for Josianna & Wendy:  "We are so very, very relieved to know that you are okay after the earthquake. We prayed and prayed for your safety. We are happy for you that you can be with your Mama and Papa who love you so very much. We miss you a lot, but we know that you are where you should be -- with your Mama and Papa. We will always pray for all four of you to be healthy and happy. You will be like cousins for us – cousins in Haiti!"

Message for Josue and Tadeline:  "Dear friends, we have a tremendous amount of love in our hearts for your family. We will never, ever forget how very kind you were to us when we talked together at BRESMA, how very smart and curious Josianna is, and how Wendy’s smile makes everyone around him smile, too. You are a beautiful family. Thank you for letting us be a part of your children’s lives. We love them, and we love you. We think of the four of you as like family, and we’ll keep you in our prayers and hope that we will be able to visit together some day in the future.  Tadeline & Josue, please accept these small items as symbols of sisterhood and brotherhood between us and of hope for a vibrant future for those we love."

On that August day when the four Eldors and the four Cluvers sat and cried together, I was overwhelmed with wonder and respect -- how can humans be strong enough to surrender their desire to be near their children?  Josue and Tadeline's selflessness for what was in the best interest of the kids amazed me.  I felt privileged, soft, and humbled not to have ever needed to make that decision regarding my young ones. 

How resilient the soul must be. 

As the status of our adoption changed in the immediate aftermath of the earthquake, we began to understand, if even to a small degree, from where the Eldors had drawn their strength  .  .  .

Love. 

It bears all things.


(Photo is courtesy of a fellow member of the "BRESMA family" as shared on Snapfish ; it was taken prior to our match with the kids -- what a great image of those two cuties!)

Good Politics

Calling for the expedited approval of provably orphaned Haitian children, recognizing the on-going need of the Haitian people, and supporting the incredible work done at God's Littlest Angels (PaP, Haiti) by Dixie Bickel (originally of Clinton, IL), HR1121 has been filed with the Illinois House of Representatives by State Representative Bill Mitchel (of Forsyth), and it now has a co-sponsor -- Representative Jim Sacia (89th District; my hometown of Freeport).  The resolution is in committee.  If folks across the State of Illinois could give the IL representatives from their area quick calls, we could get a lot of support and momentum behind this important statement that mentions specifically the twelve children from BRESMA who currently still reside in Pittsburgh.  You can find your representatives' contact information as well as read the full text of the resolution by going to http://www.ilga.gov/.  Thank you!

It Matters to This One

I can't help but recall the oft told story of the woman being questioned for tossing back into the water live starfish she'd picked up from the beach -- among thousands that had been stranded on dry land.  "You can't save them all," concluded the inquisitor.  With another spiny creature in her hand, she heaved it out to sea and replied, "It matters to this one."  And so, as we contemplate, donate, and otherwise work with a long-term view with regard to helping Haiti address the causes of poverty, so must we have present-time consciousness for the well-being of children legally orphaned (due to parental death or documented relinquishment).
(A note of thanks to a dear friend from whom I've borrowed a bit of this language.)

Children need, first and foremost, a family -- a family that is forever, to comfort and teach them while they develop, and to provide continuing reassurance, advice, and life-long roots once they are grown.  At the age of 37, I still need my mom.  And Dad.  And siblings.

Let us keep in sight a complex vision which upholds multiple ideals:  promoting a healthy, productive society; preserving birth families; and bringing provably orphaned children into safe, loving "forever families."  An orphanage, alone, will not fix the struggles faced by Haitian people.  Long-range strategies will not comfort children tonight.  We must aim to take care of "now" as well as build for a solid future.

Unassuming Heroes

Jamie and Ali McMutrie, as described so aptly by a web posting of Pittsburgh's News Channel 34, "have a significant connection to many orphaned children of Haiti.  They volunteered as operators of an orphanage in Port-au-Prince, Haiti, since 2002 and served as the primary caretakers for close to 130 children doing everything from feeding and caring for sick childen, to seeing to their educational and social development, to aiding in the adoption process."  Much of America has seen these ladies via numerous media outlets (CNN, "Ellen," and more) working to keep Haiti in the news and on our minds following their humble approach to a truly heroic, life-saving evacuation of 54 children in their care from the BRESMA orphanage (see airlift video link in the left margin).  Check out the Haitian Orphan Mission link (also in the margin) to learn about their work to develop Nouvo Vilaj, a self-sustaining and "green" community, for orphaned children in need of families.

I Left My Heart in Port-au-Prince

I've never met anyone who's been to Haiti that hasn't fallen in love with the place. Yes, with the poverty, unique aroma of the capital city, and extra chores involved in keeping an American GI system healthy while there . . . yet, the people of Haiti and the rich culture and resilient spirit they've developed captures the heart and doesn't allow the memory to forget.
 (Photo courtesy of a friend and travel companion.)